Act One: New Beginnings 1.4.2024;
Well, hello again. It has been a hot minute since I've taken the time to blog. With the holidays, vacation, and some much-needed life changes, I have struggled to find time lately. I will say, I've missed it. Beyond it being a great outlet to put my thoughts on "paper", it's also something I've realized, I simply really like doing. So today, I start with "new beginnings".
This seems fitting as it is the start of a brand-new year. When I look back, I couldn't have ever imagined I'd be where I am today. I'm now looking deeper into myself, my health, and my life in general. Wondering, what's next? What awaits my future? Who will be a part of my future and who won't? At first, those questions I was asking and the things I was seeing within myself scared me. Questions I never thought I'd be asking myself. Finding out things about myself I never thought I'd have the courage to face. If you know me, you know I'm very much a "planner". I like knowing what to expect. I like having a game plan. But lately, I find comfort in not knowing what's next. I embrace the idea that, whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be ready.
Today, I am going to start with the two things I've been actively working on recently in this "new beginnings" stage in my life. As of November 2023, I've been making some serious changes in life. Things I've put off for way too long. The first thing, my health. My past diet was not a good one. I would overindulge in food out of boredom. I chose what was easy and quick over taking a few extra minutes to make something that was actually healthy for me. My gut was constantly hurting. I was bloated, sick to my stomach, sluggish and cranky often. And, most importantly, I didn't feel good about myself inside or out. I got to the point, the poor food I was fueling my body with, was not only hurting me inside, but was projecting outward in my attitude towards life. With the sluggish feelings, came laziness and depression. With the bloat and gut problems, came illnesses. And with not feeling good about myself, came anger and resentment towards myself. I decided it was time for a change. I have sat around way too long, waiting for change to happen while putting in zero effort. That is NOT how things work! Since making this change in my diet, I have so much more energy. So much so, I've started working out to burn off all this access energy! With the healthy eating, came weight loss. This snowballed into a drastic change in my mood and a change in my attitude towards life in general. I sleep so much better at night. I'm not waking up with an upset stomach or heartburn anymore. Last, my confidence is through the roof! Not only has eating healthier been good for my physical health but has been very good for my mental health as well. I do believe when you feel good inside, it projects outward.
Second, I've been working on my mental health. Again, for far too long I've been putting off my mental health. I was the "therapy isn't for me" type of person. Turns out, it is for me. Turns out I actually look forward to my weekly appointments. Along with therapy, I've been actively making time for "me". This comes in many different forms. Working out for one. It's very therapeutic in itself. It helps me feel better about myself and I can't begin to explain how much of an impact it has had on my sleep. It also helps challenge and test my physical and mental strength. Another is reading books. So many times, in the past, someone would recommend a book to me. I would think, hey that sounds like a great book, then never make time to read it, and soon, it would be forgotten about. Now, I crave books. I want to strengthen my thoughts, ideas, and vocabulary with reading. I invite any recommendations on a good book. Last, is this blog. This is a "me" time activity. It feels so good to just open up my mind and let it all come spilling out onto the keyboard. "Me" time is important people. I have, for so long been hung up on everything else around me. Getting too worried about the future and what it will bring. As I have found more "me" time with these activities, I've learned to value myself so much more.
That leads me to close with a great quote I've read, "Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."
― M. Scott Peck M.D., The Road Less Traveled
New Move 1.21.2024;
………………. Let me tell you, what a whirlwind I’ve had this past month. Where do I begin. About 3 weeks ago I was soaking up the beautiful weather in Florida. My girls were working hard and prepping to dance in the pre-game and halftime show of the Relia-Quest Bowl game. Early morning practices every day, fun and excitement followed in the afternoons. It was a blast! We went to Busch Gardens, Clearwater Beach, Dolphin site seeing, Relia-Quest Bowl Game, a fun dinner cruise on the water, and Disney’s Magic Kingdom. The warm air, sunshine, and exciting atmosphere was much needed for all three of us. On top of all the excitement, these girls were up every single morning, 6am sharp, to get to the buses to head off to the practice fields. They were absolute rock stars. No complaints, no fighting, and everyone was happy. I wish we could’ve stayed in that moment forever. But, as we all know, we had to come back to reality. Back to the cold, back to school, and back to work.
As we got back from Florida, some other cold hard realities set in for me and for them. Unfortunately, my past relationship with my spouse has come to an end. This means no longer getting to see my girls every day. That is definitely the hardest thing to get used to in my “new normal” right now. As for the girls and I’s new reality, things are anything but normal. Is that a bad thing? Yes and No. Yes, because we no longer get to see each other every day. I go to work later in the morning which meant I was able to get up with them, make them lunches, sign go books, sing to them, tell them I love them, and got to drop them off at school. I like getting mine and their days started off on the right foot. That’s important for them and for me. And that’s just who I am as a dad. I looked forward to that every morning. And now that only happens a few mornings a week. But on the other hand, No, in the sense that I’m looking forward to my new beginnings in life. A new place, the girls and I get to make our own. They keep me balanced with a slight woman's touch on everything 😊. More family time with the ones I love. A different routine, which is very refreshing right now, to be honest. And learning who I am as an individual, not a couple. Can I say I pictured this being my reality, No, but am I going to embarrass this new chapter in my life, hell yes, I am!
This brings me to moving day. I don’t know where to begin. It was Saturday the 13th. And if anyone who is reading this remembers, that Saturday was around -30 to -40 degrees depending on the windchill. Holy cow was that a challenge. I want to say thank you to everyone who helped me. Also, to everyone who has reached out to me. It is appreciated more than you’ll ever know. In those temps we’re talking frozen fingers, toes, noses, and bodies. It’s hard enough to move couches, dressers, tv stands, bed sets, not to mention all while bundled up in so many layers to stay warm. I felt like the dang Michelin man 😆. We eventually got everything moved. I still can’t believe we were able to do it all in one afternoon. Now time to get settled in. I will admit, I still have not gotten everything set up. I’m grabbing clothes from drawers that aren’t yet put back into their dressers, I have shirts on hangers that are lying around waiting to be hung up. Shoot, as I type this blog, I’m lying in my bed, on the floor, in the middle of my bedroom. But that’s ok. I used to let this kind of inorganization drive me nuts. I used to need everything to be perfect, because it gave me a sense of some sort of control. But as I’ve been working on myself, and finding happiness in myself, that little stuff no longer eats at me. It will get done; this place will eventually get put together just the way I want it. But there’s no need to stress it anymore. It was an interesting weekend to say the least. I’m happy the moving part is over, and I’m happy to be moving forward in the right direction with my life, there’s no better feeling!
As I end today, I want to remind you that starting over can be hard, but it’s not a death sentence. I want to leave you with this quote I once read:
"No matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again."
- Buddha
6.10.2024 Better than I’ve Ever Been;
Wow…… it has been a while since I’ve done my last blog. It’s crazy, I’ve still been writing things down, meaning to put them on here, but life has been so busy lately. I read through the past few “soon to be blog posts” and I have come to the conclusion, they all seem to be saying relatively the same thing in different ways. That’s what led me to today’s post called, “Better than I’ve ever been”.
When I started this new and completely different journey last November, changing my eating habits, working out, watching what I consume mentally, reading different books than I would’ve ever chosen to read in the past, trying new things even when they make me feel uncomfortable (like this blog for instance), it opened me up to the world in the best way possible. Mentally, I have found this positive light in things I used to be skeptical about. I’m more loving and trusting, when in the past, I used to push people and things away for reasons I am still unsure about. My patience with the world around me has grown exponentially. I’ve noticed people are comfortable and drawn to come up and start a conversation with me. I wake up happy and light on my feet knowing that the day is going to be a fantastic day! Because the day is about what YOU make it…...not letting things that happen during the day dictate how I am going to feel. As for reading, I’ve been consuming nonfiction, self-reflection, and spirituality type of books. These seem to speak to me most and really help keep me engaged the entire way through the book. I must recommend the one I am currently reading, that was passed onto me from my girlfriend, Toni. It is, “Can’t Hurt Me”, by David Goggins. I am almost done with it, and it is a fantastic read.
There is something else I absolutely need to thank books for, and that is for bringing one person into my life all through a simple conversation that started with a book. This world has a funny way of making things work out exactly as they should at the exact moment they should. That would be my girlfriend, Toni. I received a message some months ago, asking about a book I was reading that I had shared on Facebook. I was super excited to see she messaged me, because outside of this first conversation about books, I had only known of her and didn’t know her personally. So, of course, I waited a couple minutes because I didn’t want to message back too quickly and seem like some crazy guy! The conversation went on well into the night, talking about way more than books by this point. And by the end of the night, I built up enough courage to ask her to go to yoga with me that coming weekend. And, once again, the universe worked in it mysterious ways as the day of yoga class, she bobbed back and forth with the idea of actually going. She messaged me saying she had to run her daughter somewhere and may not make it. But she did. I was extremely nervous about meeting her in person, but she came right up to me, hugged me and officially introduced herself and the class was great. A day or two after yoga I asked her to hang out again, in more of a “date” type of environment. Literally, the rest is history. We have been going on dates since then, hanging out all the time and doing so many fun things together. And I can’t wait for all the fun things to come in the future. I really do believe that if I hadn’t made these great changes to myself mentally, physically, and spiritually, I wouldn’t be with her today. I’ve been putting out this beautiful energy into this universe and the universe reflected it right back to me, tenfold.
Today I’m going to end this blog by simply saying, don’t put yourself in a box where you are afraid of failing and/or trying new things. I know if I had stayed in the box had put myself in, I wouldn’t be where I am right now with this new outlook on life and so much to be appreciative for.
“Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I’ve ever been.”
- Iain Thomas
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